TREE OF LIFE...

Um, no, not this one. This is my bottle-tree-in-progress in the back yard. I am listening/singing to Lila Downs' Tree of Life (Arbol de la Vida), cranked up loudly, while typing. Today was ... sad. Yeah, I am still down about **************** yesterday, and cried more today. But I am better tonight. I went to town with Amy (daughter-in-law), Zach and Mathieu and got the taxes paid on this house and the lots. Domingo called earlier to see if everything was okay, since I left the Fiesta early, Sunday. I called Bertha later in the day to say I was going to stay home tonight and not attend the parish council meeting. She went over what was on the agenda with me. Andrew called; he's coming over tomorrow. I asked him to call before he left home, in case I needed him to get something from town for me. My van is in worse shape. It sounds bad, and I just don't trust it. GOT to take it into the shop next week. Ashley (our only daughter) called ....she and Roy were helping Ashlyn with her (FIRST GRADE!) math homework and they had a question. !!! LOL! I told Amy and Ashley about ********************************** and I had emailed ************* about it last night, but I think it'll stop there. I am not going to tell ***** since it will just upset him, since he is the other 'looser' in question, along with me. LOL! He had called last night and kept asking if everything was okay, saying I sounded tired or something. He said that he wanted me to call ********and ask about *******************. He said "We have the room, and we can afford it." Well, I didn't and I am not going to for several reasons, the main one being that most of them in the ******************** But isn't it ironic that he brought it up, and in those words on the same day that *************************. If *** only knew - *** would be totally frosted, and *** worse thoughts about us confirmed - LOL!!! But we really can't ***************. The thing is, there is a major difference in the perception of 'afford' and having 'enough'. No, we don't have financial security, I don't suppose...and I definately don't ******************* but I have a husband who is not perfect, but who loves me, 5 kids, 2 kids-in-law, 5 grandchildren, a parish family, and can laugh and see the cup half full ALL the time, paint and hang shoes from the trees, sing and dance along with my CDs, drive my kids crazy by talking all day through my sock monkey puppet sometimes, have a flock of pink plastic flamingos in my yard and LIVE my life. I need to quit thinking 'death' and get back to 'life'. I can't let negative people get me down. Gee, why have there been so many around me, lately?! They are ganging up on me! But I know ***************. ***** just has some 'defects', I guess they could be called. But I'm still not going to talk to *** on the phone any more. Tomorrow will be a good day!