The Bee Hive

Sometimes it's honey; sometimes it's sting...

Saturday, September 24, 2005

SAD

Lots bothering me...
1. XX XXXXXX XXXXXX - more spewing.
2. Her planting suspicions about XXXXXXXXXXXXX...what they think about XXXXXXX.
4. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX's situation and safety.
5. Picky little unimportant thing that I am embarrassed to even mention.

Highlights of my day:
1. Evening Mass
2. Talking with Zach and playing Pictionary with him.

Impossible daydreams:
1. Signing over my share of XXXXXXXXXXXXX and being OUT of it.
2. Moving far, far away...Croatia? Ireland? Poland? Italy? HA!

Resolved:
1. Never let my guard down.
2. "Offer it up." Yes, really.
3. Save money, get stuff done myself, and take whatever consequences.
4. Wait at least a week before making a decision to give up this blog.

5 Comments:

At 9/24/2005 10:30 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Sorry for the sad day. I had a weird day yesterday, too. Thankfully, each day 'His mercies are new.'

 
At 9/24/2005 12:58 PM, Blogger no name said...

so sorry you're feeling down.
i have been so bombarded with the family stuff, i have neglected to get some mail art out to you and i apologize for that.
i know it's easy for others to look on and say, 'who cares what your sisters think'... it just doesn't work that way when you are the one processing those feelings, esp. around family. i do hope it is lifted as a concern/burden that feels heavy for you soon.
sometimes, just sitting in the chapel with incense and candles does me a WORLD of good. haven't done that in a long time but do try to create that sort of 'space' at home now and again.
I get a longing for Paris, Dublin and anywhere in Spain!!
thanks for your kind comments.
I can't tell you how many blogs I've actually paid 'premium' services on and then felt horrible and dumped them. only later coming back because the interaction really does make a different in my spirit.
take gentle care of yourself.

 
At 9/24/2005 3:44 PM, Blogger Wanda said...

Thanks, Laura and Stevie. Yeah, my sisters are a lot older than me, so it's almost like having two mothers. Our parents died about 25 years ago. I am so trained to be the 'baby sister'. And my oldest sister is just like our father was - which is NOT good. :/ And we are entangled in inherited properties, etc. We don't fight over things, it's just complicated, and I get tired of being lectured and put down. I swear I'm not a bad person, but my oldest sister makes me feel like a crazy person living under a bridge! LOL! And sometimes I wonder if I am as worthless/shiftless as she thinks I am.
Yeah, for me this blog is all about interaction, and feedback...even just someone listening to my words. Because I don't tell this stuff to anyone around me. And that's why I was going to give it up - no interaction, no one reading it, etc., so it was just making me more depressed. That was the #5 on the 'What's bothering me' list. See how picky and embarrassing it is to admit?! So THANKS to both of you for reading and commenting.
Do I owe you mail art, Stevie? Gosh, I don't remember...

 
At 9/26/2005 11:38 PM, Blogger Thorn said...

Wanda, people who aren't around you are reading and listenting to your words that you are throwing out there into cyberspace. And those people are thinking..."Hmmm. I can relate to that!" They may not interact WITH the blog, but they are interacting with your words on an ongoing basis, thinking that maybe they aren't so alone in the world with their feelings. Maybe I'm a crazy person living under a bridge too!..carrie

 
At 9/27/2005 12:23 AM, Blogger Wanda said...

Carrie, thanks. You are always so supportive and 'real'. Sometime it's like I keep spinning in a tighter and tighter circle, where all I see are my own flaws. I really am better now.

 

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